my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
