I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
