Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
