You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize