He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
