check it out our google latitudes are spooning
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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