I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
