it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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