so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
