she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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