O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
