Where is the hickey?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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