You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
