I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Still dying that you shit outside
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
