I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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