I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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