Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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