hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
