the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
