Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
