My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
