don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
