I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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