It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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