your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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