can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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