: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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