shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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