Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
