You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
