The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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