So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
