Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
