your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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