That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
