i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
