We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
