More tranny stories later!
i think my tv is drunk
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize