You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
