Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
