This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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