Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
