I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
