No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
