i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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