oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
