if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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