Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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