I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
