just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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