Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize