I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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