I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
