Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
