A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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