ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
