how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
