Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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