There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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