I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
