If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
