They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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