I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
