and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
