I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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