Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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